Survival Update

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Kayakers Warned to Stop Getting Naked in Public!

It hasn’t been said if the punishment will be a good paddling, but Kayakers in the UK have been warned to “stop getting naked in public.” 

The growing number of canoeists and kayakers who are plying Britain’s waterways as the weather warms has prompted new official guidance on how they should behave, including avoiding “public nudity” that could shock shoreside strollers!

An official Paddlers’ Code for England, set to be launched in the summer, will advise canoeists, kayakers, and stand-up paddleboarders on how to protect wildlife and spot pollution. It is the first addition to the new Countryside Code, relaunched last year with advice for visitors and landowners to try smiling at each other to defuse tensions.

The new wording also includes rules about changing clothes in public and how to avoid public displays of nudity. The new rules have been agreed upon by Natural England and are set to be the first “supplementary” code to the official guidelines, with more potential future rulebooks to follow covering horseback riders and other users of the countryside.

One would assume that naked horseback riding will also be a no-no!

The new code includes advice for paddlers to “change in a discreet and considerate way” and to “park respectfully” without blocking narrow roads, gates, or driveways.

Ben Seal, the head of access and environment at British Canoeing, added: “If you go paddling, there’s not changing rooms everywhere, so people get changed in their car, behind their car, behind a bush. It’s about being respectful of local residents and anybody who passes by.”

Apparently, the stark reality of over-exposed paddlers has been a growing problem.

Last May, councilors in Totnes, Devon, revealed they had been contacted by a number of locals witnessing a growing number of kayakers and swimmers stripping off to use the river, with one saying she had “never seen so many naked people.”

Cllr Allegra Galvin said during a town meeting, “They get out of their cars and get changed into their wetsuits on the pavement. If you’re walking out of your front door, that’s not what you want to see.”

Cllr Jacqi Hodgson added that she had “all sorts of wild videos sent to me,” the Herald Express Torbay reported, with another councilor adding, “It’s getting warmer, so I imagine there will be more naked bodies.”