Survival Update

The world is yours

Doctors Advise People to Stop Putting Frozen Potatoes Up Their Butts!

“For health and safety reasons, please refrain from shoving frozen potatoes up your butt.” That is not the kind of safety warning you would thing would be necessary, clearly falling into the “common sense” category. But, it seems in these days of whacky supposed “health” information on the internet, common sense often just goes out the window!

This has all come about since apparently an increasing number of hemorrhoid sufferers have taken to the internet to seek “alternative solutions” to their problem instead of consulting with their doctors.

And that is where they have been coming across an altogether bizarre solution that is being touted online – inserting a frozen potato into your anus for 30 minutes is the answer. Here is how one such website describes the process:

“Here’s what you need to do: Peel a raw potato and cut into thin slices, like you do it for French fries. Put the slices into the freezer and wait until they are frozen. Insert the frozen potato slice in your anus and leave it inside for 30 seconds. Repeat the process for three to five days. The next three to five days leave the slice inside for 30 seconds more each time.”

The article continues: “The potatoes have astringent properties and help relieve the pain and itchy sensation which usually happens with this condition, while the ice-cold potato constricts the blood vessels, reduces the swelling and relieves your pain instantly.”

But doctors have warned against this “novel” solution.

Dr. Diana Gall, of leading online medical service Doctor-4-U, said: “[Hemorrhoids] can be an irritating condition and sufferers are sometimes too embarrassed to seek professional helping, turning to old wives’ tales instead.”

Dr. Gall continued, “There is no medical evidence that putting frozen potatoes inside the anus can help cure hemorrhoids, so I would urge caution to anyone thinking of doing it. Hemorrhoids often go away on their own after a few days, but there are some tried and trusted ways to keep them at bay. You should drink plenty of fluids and maintain a fiber-rich diet and try having regular warm baths to ease itching and pain.”

Dr. Gall continued to say that, “If home treatments do not banish your hemorrhoids, it is advised to go to your doctor and explore alternative treatments.”

But nowhere in the medical literature do those “alternative treatments” include sticking spuds, frozen or otherwise, or any other tuber or veggie up your butt.