There was no “Happily Ever After” for a bride who wanted an immediate divorce after her groom pulled a wedding cake stunt at their reception that she specifically begged him not to.
The woman said the only “hard rule” she laid down before the wedding was that she didn’t want her husband to rub cake in her face at the reception – but instead, he grabbed her head and pushed her into it.
She wrote, to Slate’s advice column, “I got married just before Christmas and am hoping to be divorced or annulled by the end of January.”
The bride continued, “I never cared about getting married, but I wasn’t opposed to it. So when my boyfriend proposed in 2020, we decided to go for it. We each took on about half the responsibility for organizing the wedding, but I think I was pretty reasonable about compromise when he really wanted something. My only hard-and-fast rule was that he would not rub cake in my face at the reception.
“Being a reasonable man who knows me well, he didn’t. Instead, he grabbed me by the back of the head and shoved my head down into it. It was planned since the cake was destroyed, and he had a bunch of cupcakes as backup.”
The bride immediately told her new husband she was “done” with him, but since she says she has been bombarded with calls from family members begging her to give him another chance. That pressure prompted her to write to Slate to see what the general public thought about her actions.
In her letter to the “Dear Prudence” advice column, the newlywed added, “I left. The next day I told him we were done. I am standing by that. The thing is that over the holidays, everyone has gotten together to tell me I should give him a second chance.”
“They also keep telling me I love him – even though right now I don’t feel that at all – and that he loves me, and that means not giving up at the first hurdle. I don’t want to, but everyone is so united and confident in their assurance I am making a terrible mistake that I wonder if they are right.”
In response, Prudence told the bride to push on with the divorce despite pleas to call it off – because her husband’s actions were a “red flag.”
They wrote back, “Everyone’s sure you’re making a mistake, but they’re not the ones who have to wake up every day with a man whose behavior massively turns them off. You are. So you only have to listen to yourself.”
“I think what he did was a red flag about not respecting you and your wishes. Make a mental note about which of your loved ones don’t seem to value your happiness, and continue with your divorce.”
The bride’s post was later shared on Reddit’s Wedding Shaming forum, where people were stunned by the groom’s actions.
One person wrote, “It’s not even a cutesy splat of cake on the nose; he slammed her head into it and humiliated her.”
And still, another showed the support by saying, “He didn’t just not respect her only boundary, he found the worst, most aggressive way possible to violate it.”
What do you think, was this “caked” bride right? Or is she overreacting, and does her guy deserve another chance? Please reply using the comments below!
You made a mistake and married an idiot. End it as you will never forget what he did and the only reason he did it was to humiliate you . This is your cake in his face.
Even as a man, my opinion is you’re 100% right with your decision. If you’re still unsure, listen to this please…
What does the “the little man” in your gut tell you? In other words, what is your first impression or first gut reaction? Never, EVER go against the “little man”…God gave us first gut reactions/impressions for a reason. From my earliest childhood memory, I’ve been wrong every single time I’ve gone against “the little man”.
Just sayin’.
She is damn sure right. If you can’t trust him in a simple request how can you trust him in more serious matters. Sorry you are out of your share in the wedding costs.
Dump the BUM whose arrogance demonstrated total disregard for the feelings and wishes of the bride.
I think she’s right. He doesn’t respect her and the most special day of her life was ruined by his actions. She can expect more of the same if she let it go. Annulment, divorce…whatever it takes, get out and move on. He’s a jerk.
Dear Newly Wedd,
First you yourself were not excited about the wedding. Second you already know his temperament as you ask him not to put cake in your face. Third he ignored your request. Fourth he aggressively shoved your face in the cake , apparently he showed no consideration of your feelings. Fifth I suspect he is quite familiar with family violence! Lastly I’m not one to make your decision leave or stay, but then look at all the negative. It just says run!
SOUNDS LIKE SHE DID NOT WANT TO GET MARRIED TO BEGIN WITH SOMETHING HE WANTED HOWEVER HE WAS EXTREMLY DISRESPECTFUL TO HER SHAME THEY WASTED SO MUCH MONEY ON THE WEDDING BUT AS THE SAYING GOES WHEN YOU PLAY THEN YOU PAY
Wow how disrespectful.
I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Time to leave this jerk behind and move forward.
I agree with everyone of the above post! The Man was disrespectful and if you stay with him is may only get worse! Definitely get the Divorce and stay away from him. As for your friends and family that think this is acceptable behavior, you might want to ask them if they would happy had it happened to them!
By all means rethink those relationships and try setting your boundaries based on what you want not what others want. Even when they are Family!
What is the problem here? All she had to do is go to the minister and tell him NOT to file the paperwork to the county courthouse where she was married. Someone that truly loves Their spouse to be would never cross the line she drew about the cake. A wedding is NOT legal till the marriage licence is filed at the courthouse.
Young Attractive Lady:
LEAVE HIM!!!!
Now where can we meet?
For us to chat and ease your pain.
You deserve so much better!
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I totally agree with the bride. Super disrespectful of the groom, childish and immature. She’ll be so much better off without him. He’s not ready for a serious relationship. I applaud her for sticking up for herself.
She needs to follow her gut.
For God’s sake….annul it and move on. The fact that he organized everyone of his friends and family to bully you tells you all you need to know!
Right on sister! Dump the chump!!
Leave him, its the only thing you can do. Not respecting the only request that you made is just setting you up to be disappointed, ignored and laughed at in future requests. All he had to do was not and he couldn’t. Immature idiot. Move on and be happy.
Dump the turd in the toilet now–otherwise, that is where you will spend the rest of your days.
Get out now, that behavior was a HUGE red flag of disrespect and potential for violence.
The RED FLAG went up when she had to have him promise he wouldn’t do it………
I once talked one of my cousins into getting together with the guy she broke up with. This was a huge mistake on my part, he turned into an abusive, cheating, irresponsible, butt hole and went out with and slept with other women. I felt so bad for my part in telling her to give him another chance that I have never tried to give advice again, but this time I will, run don’t walk, get away from this man as fast and far as you can, you will never be happy again if you do not .
I have to say that you took him for better or worse till death do you part and if you can not forgive him for the face in the cake you should have never married him. Yes he done wrong but it was something you should have talked about afterwards and not share with the whole world
Have a heart to heart talk with him and ask him first why he did it when he know your only request was for him not to do it. Listen intently to his response and ask did he think it was funny? Did he do it to please his friends? Is a a habitual prankster? Only you know deeply how much you love or care about his man. It sounds like you only got married because of him and because of you. Something obviously was not there to begin with. This was your Big day and you should of been excited about it. From what I am reading you were not over the moon to begin with. Talk it over with him and decide weather in fact you made a big mistake in marrying him or are you making a bigger mistake in divorcing him. Only you can decide. No one else. You have to be happy and you have to live with him. These are choices you have to be comfortable with. Good Luck however it turns out.
I agree with every one of the above posts you give everything of yourself while performing, and that’s what others need to learn from you.
I greatly appreciate the information provided and especially in the post. be strongest form of another overall story. honestly hope you’re getting better and better.
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